The reviews: THIS IS WHERE I PROVE THAT I CAN DEVOUR CULTURE IN A MANNER MOST LOVECRAFTIAN!!!!!!

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5 Centimeters per second A.K.A. a masterclass in justifying CRT ownership.

I want to preface this by saying that I do not like Makoto Shinkai’s films (as much as they really can be his films). I do not like them because they feel like what those gifs of AI interlaced video clips of cooking in studio ghibli films look like. The stories of these films are uncanny and badly thought out. The sheer detail found in these films hides that they are clumsily put together and have the emotional depth of a Hallmark card.

This does not mean I do not enjoy these films. I cried I first saw “Your Name”; when I watched it again a week later I found myself laughing at it. It isn’t a good one but it sure tricked me into thinking it was good for a little bit. I think it has to do with the visuals. As is obvious in every review, preview and view of any still, gif, trailer or full feature production by Co-Mix-Wave studios, the technical skill level at work is very high. However, there is a lack of any distinct artstyle beyond a strict adherence to distinct anime features in faces. Beyond this the aim of the style is to produce a twee pseudo-photorealism that appeals to a very wide audience. As much as I would like to say that I am immune to this targeting, I am not. This is because I really enjoy 5 Centimeters Per Second a lot.

The reason why I like this one and not really any of the other Shinkai films (I haven’t even bothered to think about Suzume) is because I have this one on DVD. When I found it in the charity shop I was planning to give it away to a friend who enjoyed these films more than me, but the more I looked, the less easy it was for me to look away: these movies are really pretty. The way the cherry blossoms and the snow pop out at me on my TV is just great and fun. I show it to friends that come around because it just cannot be experienced in a better way. This is the perfection of visuals and it’s in 640x480, pan and scan.

I’ve managed to convince some of my older (as in time I’ve known them, not age) friends who I do not agree on about many things, such as the presence of old technology in my life, that having an old ass CRT television isn’t so bad after all through the showing of this movie. I have other anime that look good on there but just not this good.

I give it the arbitrary score of 7 broken vanity mirrors/bad luck.

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As everybody knows, taking pictures of CRTs is very easy and requires absolutely 0 care or photography skill